How to write a Eulogy
Writing a Eulogy
Writing a Eulogy is a difficult task. It can be hard to condense a lifetime of experiences into a short speech to be delivered at a funeral service. Delivering a Eulogy can be one of the hardest things that a person can do. How do you summarise a life in just a few minutes? As long as the words are from the heart, it doesn't matter how much content there is. It’s more about the feeling and meaning behind them.
There are two ways to deliver a Eulogy – life-story, or funny and quirky stories of their personality. One thing to keep in mind is that there will be a mix of people that will hear your speech, so try not to swear or say anything that will cause embarrassment afterwards. A Eulogy doesn't have to be depressing and formal however. A Eulogy can include favourite poems, meaningful reminiscences, war stories or even jokes. At the bottom of the page, we’ve included a quick guide on how to put together a thoughtful Eulogy.
What Do You Want To Say?
First, collect the facts: age, family information - including children and marriages, places lived, career information, etc. Now think about the person you're remembering what stories come to mind? What kinds of stories or quotes capture your loved one's personality? Talk with other friends and family so their ideas can be included as well.
Organise your notes into segments
Rewrite your notes onto index cards or sheets of paper that you can shuffle around and work with. This will help you group the information into like stories or similar topics. Once you’ve organised your notes into an order that flows well, jot the information into a rough outline.
Decide on a Eulogy theme
A theme gives purpose to the Eulogy and helps your audience see an overall pattern of behaviour and what the deceased's life stood for.
If you're writing a Eulogy for your grandfather for example, your theme could be how he was always a great storyteller and a confidant to his grandchildren. With your theme in place, you can collect stories that he told other people and yourself, how he went on endlessly about the war, and how he helped his family through the rough patches with his wisdom.
If your theme was his important work and career, you might speak with co-workers to get stories and remembrances of his working life and contributions made to his field or place of business.
Write your speech
Write out a first draft and stick closely to the outline you've developed. Fill in any gaps by putting information in to link the topics, making each idea flow into the next. Try not to let the speech get too stiff; you don't want a fact sheet on your loved one's life. Try to incorporate real-life experiences or anecdotes, using bits of humour and light heartedness, if appropriate.
Guideline for writing a Eulogy
- When and where the deceased was born
- Nicknames and or names known to others
- Parents’ names - where they met and married
- Brothers and sisters and deceased’s place in the family
- Early childhood - localities, interests, achievements
- Schools attended and awards gained
- Academic or trade qualifications and achievements
- Some interesting facts of childhood days
- Details of any war or military service
- Details of marriages, divorces and significant relationships
- Details of children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren
- Details of any club membership and position held
- Details of any sporting achievements
- Details of any hobbies or interests
- Details of any travel
- Details of any historical significance
- Preferences, likes and dislikes - activities e.g. music theatre
- Any special stories or sayings that are significant to others
- If required, special readings, music or poetry
- Special qualities they possessed
Most of all
Practice delivering the Eulogy
Questions about eulogies
FAQs
These are some questions that families have asked us in the past
What is a eulogy and why is it important to write one?
A eulogy is a speech delivered at a funeral or memorial service to honour and celebrate the life of the deceased. It's important because it provides a heartfelt tribute, offering comfort to those grieving by recalling cherished memories and highlighting the person's unique character, achievements, and impact on others. It's a chance to paint a vivid picture of who they were, helping to preserve their memory and legacy.
How long should a eulogy typically be?
While there's no strict rule, a eulogy is generally between 5 to 10 minutes in length, which usually translates to approximately 500 to 1000 words. This allows enough time for meaningful reflection without disengaging the audience. It's a good idea to consider if other people will also be speaking and to coordinate with the funeral director or celebrant to ensure the service flows well.
What key information should I include in a eulogy?
A eulogy should offer a snapshot of the person's life, rather than a full biography. Key elements to include are your relationship to the deceased, memorable anecdotes and stories that showcase their personality, significant achievements, hobbies, and the impact they had on others. You can also include any characteristic sayings, favourite poems, or meaningful quotes. The most important thing is to speak from the heart and make it personal.
How can I structure my eulogy effectively?
There are a few common structures. You can take a chronological approach, highlighting key milestones from birth to passing. Alternatively, a thematic approach focuses on core qualities (e.g., kindness, humour) and illustrates them with stories. An anecdotal structure simply shares a series of meaningful or humorous stories. Regardless, aim for a clear beginning (introduction), middle (stories and reflections), and end (a closing thought or message of remembrance).
What if I feel too emotional to deliver the eulogy myself on the day?
It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed with emotion. Many people find delivering a eulogy challenging. The best advice is to prepare thoroughly: write it out, print it in a large, clear font, and practice reading it aloud. It's also highly recommended to have a backup person who has a copy of your eulogy and is prepared to read it on your behalf if you find you're unable to continue. Remember, the audience will be understanding and supportive.
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